Okay, before you start reading this post, please know that I use a few choice expletives. So if you aren’t too keen on that, you might wanna stop reading now.
When it rains, it pours … literally.
For those of you that follow me, you know that I have a lot on my plate as of late, and that I’ve made goals. Know this, no matter what wrenches are thrown my way, my goals are going to be met come Hell or high water! ‘Cause I know that I hold the key to my success and happiness. I’m the only one that can MAKE it all happen.
So tell me, do we have some kind of magnet that attracts people with issues when we’ve got a fuck ton of our own to deal with? It never seems to fail, does it?
Alright, you all know that I’m a nurse. I deal with other people’s issues on a daily basis at the hospital. I mean, that is part of my job description. I’ve learned to leave those issues at my workplace and not dwell on them when I get home. But, when I come home to more issues, it gets a little old … fast.
It’s hard to work on trying to find yourself when someone else’s issues take precedence over your own. Or at least that’s what they think …. *rolls eyes.* I mean, what ever happened to give and take in a relationship? If I have to listen to you bitch about your life, it’s only fair that you listen to me bitch about mine. But, when I’m the only one that is willing to lend a shoulder and a listening ear … well, let’s just say that one can only give so much before they break. Well, this is me breaking.
Sometimes I feel like I have been transported back in time; transported back to High School and all the drama that entailed. I’m a fucking adult! I’m not an emo teenager that wants to get wrapped up in everyone else’s drama in order to escape my own internal conflict.
Nope, I’d rather face my demons head-on. So … um … why can’t you? Is it so hard to take the bull by the horns and change your situation?
Okay, I sound like a cold-hearted bitch. But those of you that know me know that I take on a lot of other people’s bullshit. Bottom line, I’m a caregiver. I care about others. Truly I do. I love offering a shoulder and a listening ear. I’ll give advice when it’s asked for. I can read people well enough to know when they just need to vent and don’t need my lip-service.
But here is what has been frustrating me to no end lately:
People that spew the same bullshit drama over and over again.
Instead of wasting your breath and time by bitching about it … yet again, fucking do something about it! Only you can change YOUR situation! Nothing that I or anyone else can tell you is going to help! You’ve already determined that all the advice that we’ve given you isn’t good enough. I’ve already given you my fucking opinion. You already know what I think. I can only tell you so many times. I mean, fucking really? We HAVE to go down this road again? Believe it or not, you can make your situation better.
Going rounds has never been my strong point. I honestly think it’s the only thing that really sets me off. Often times I have to walk away from the conversation before I blow the fuck up. When you ask my opinion about something and I give what I feel is ‘sound’ advice, only to have you come back at me with the same issues, I’m gonna get a little frustrated. I mean, who the fuck wouldn’t?
So, please don’t get all pissy with me when I sigh audibly and calmly repeat the same advice I’ve given you time and time again. You obviously know what you need to fucking do. I mean, you’ve asked 50 some people their opinion and they’ve all told you the same thing! What’s stopping you from taking their advice? Your own insecurities? If so, that’s on you my friend.
What? You think that your issues have been running through my mind for the last twenty-four hours? You think that my opinion on the matter has miraculously changed? It hasn’t. I’ve got news for you bitch; I’ve got my own goals to meet and issues to deal with. So quit fucking telling me about your relationship issues … please. If you don’t like the situation you’re in, change it. No one can change it for you. So quit fucking asking the same questions and seeking the same goddamn advice!
Quit fucking procrastinating! Don’t be afraid to put yourself first every once in a while. That’s not being selfish- it’s actually pretty healthy. Quit trying to be what others want you to be! You shouldn’t have to change for anyone! Do yourself a favor and find out who you really are before you hop into any relationship that demands your attention. Furthermore, know what the fuck you’re looking for! Until you figure that out for yourself, you will never be happy.
At this moment in my life, I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with your bullshit on top of my own. I mean, what advice can a woman half your age possibly give you? Maybe that’s the question you’re asking yourself every single time you decide not to take my advice. So quit fucking asking for it!
You really do need to grow the fuck up, quit with all the drama, and quit dwelling in the ‘what if’s’. Not a single person can live like that; they’d eventually drive themselves crazy. Even though I am bitching about our conversations, believe it or not, I still love you and want you to be happy.
On to the next rant …
I apologize, but I obviously really needed to get some things off my chest.
Have any of you ever had to deal with a psycho neighbor? How about a neighbor that should be on a benzodiazepine to smooth his/her mood? Sometimes I find myself wishing that I could get my neighbor sloppy drunk in the middle of the day so she’d chill the fuck out! Or maybe, she just needs to get laid? I really don’t fucking know. What I do know is that she needs … something. And very soon, that something will be my boot up her ass!
Let me give you a ‘taste’ of what I have to deal with.
My kids are at an age where they’ve been granted a little more independence. I give them a little leeway in settling their own conflicts before I choose to step in. How the fuck else are they going to learn? I don’t need to be a hovering mom anymore, and for that I am grateful.
We pick and choose our own battles. You have to determine whether or not the backlash will be worth it when you decide to confront something.
For example, my daughter was pissed off at my neighbor for backing out of a promise. She was pouting over it. To an adult, what she was pouting over would seem quite trivial. But, she is six, and to her, it was the end of the world and she wasn’t easily calmed. So rather than nit-picking her and telling her what she needed to do, I chose to put her in a time-out to think about how she was reacting.
My daughter went into the house by herself and came back out after 10 minutes. She hugged me around the waist and whispered, “I’m better now momma.” I asked her to apologize to the neighbor. She did; but, I could tell my daughter’s nose was still a little out of joint.
It was getting late. So, I asked my kids to help the neighbor pick up the mess they’d made in our combined backyard (we live in a townhome) and told them we were going to go inside afterward.
I know the neighbor heard me tell them this.
My kids reluctantly started to help clean up the mess. They were grumbling a bit because the neighbor’s son, who helped make the mess, was not present during the clean-up. I didn’t blame them for being angry about that. It really wasn’t fair. The neighbor turned toward my kids with her hands on her hips and said snottily, “He isn’t helping because he’s cranky.”
So, being ‘cranky’ gives him an out when it’s time to clean up? FYI, her son doesn’t EVER help clean up! Fuck that shit! That little shit would be on the front line of my mini-me clean-up crew! Anyways, I’m not gonna go there. Let’s just say that I had to bite my tongue. Who am I to question her parenting style?
My daughter was bending over and picking up a toy when the neighbor said to her, “I don’t know why you’re so upset with me … I think you really just need to get over it.” She rolled her eyes. Did you catch that? She rolled her eyes at my six year old daughter!
Okay, stop right there. What did I say above? We pick and choose our own battles, right? So, why did my neighbor want to re-open this can of worms when I’d already dealt with it? Why’d she want to pick a fight with a six year old? Furthermore, she wasn’t the one who would have to deal with my angry little girl later.
My daughter whirled around, mouth agape. She is just like me and because of this, I knew she was about to spew something horrible … I could see it in her eyes. I stopped her by holding out my hand and saying sternly, “Uh, uh. Stop right there. Pick up two more toys and go inside.” She nodded and started to do as she was told.
The goddamn neighbor started up again! I gaped at her and thought, What the fuck is wrong with this chick? I felt like I was dealing with a little kid as I held out my palm and shook my head at her. “Stop. Just … stop.”
The neighbor straightened from her crouch to address me, “I know but …”
“No, just stop. There is no need for you to re-hash this with her. I’ve already dealt with it, and she apologized. End of story.”
“Kids, we’re done picking up. Get inside, now!”
The kids grumbled a bit; but went inside.
I just stared at the neighbor as we disappeared into the house. There was really nothing more I could say to her without losing my cool.
The neighbor waved at us as she yelled, “Okay, we’ll see you tomorrow! I hope things will be better!”
Okay, I felt like screaming. I would really love to forbid my kids to play with her son. Sadly, he’s the only kiddo their age in the vicinity and they adore him. Who am I to deny them that? So, I guess I’ll deal. I can only hope that my neighbor will get laid soon, or I WILL boot her in the ass!
These people will be the death of me …
Thanks for listening … or erm … reading 😉
Until next time …