Few things in life are clear. It’s as if we stand at a fork in the road with two different paths laid out before us. Each of which is hazy, uncertain. We stand there, mouths agape, looking from one path to the other, just trying to decide whether we take the one that is worn to dirt or the one less traveled.
Which path would you choose? Who the hell knows, right? You’re still on a journey; you’re still learning. So, you blunder along in this life trying to figure out what path is the ‘most right’ for you. After all, neither one of the paths is paved in perfection. There are lessons to be learned. So, you make a few mistakes, take a few wrong turns, and maybe you even get lost for a while. Or … maybe you succeed, another fork in the road presents itself, and you start the process all over again. That is how you learn, isn’t it? Trial and error. To err is human. It doesn’t make you a lesser person to fail every once in a while. But, learn from it!
Pure and simple, life is a game of chance.
As I’m sure you’ve gleaned, I’ve always been a firm believer in the saying, “Life is what you make of it.” Only you can choose where your path will lead.
I choose to take the path less traveled.
When you wear your heart on your sleeve, you make yourself vulnerable to having that muscle shattered into a million tiny little pieces. I know this. I’m willing to take that risk. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve gotten used to picking up the pieces, sewing them back together, and moving on. On the flip side of that, I’ve also been fortunate enough to make some pretty amazing connections, and lifelong friendships. So taking that particular risk is worth it for me. It’s made me who I am today.
I’d like to believe that I am a strong, independent, woman that doesn’t need anything more in my life to experience happiness. The latter part of that sentence is the lie that I keep telling myself to get through the tougher times. Fact is, like everyone, I need help every once in a while too. I’m just one of those stubborn bitches that has problems accepting other people’s love and support because I feel like I am taking advantage of them, and that’s not cool with me.
Many people would turn inward after a negative experience, go into self-defense mode, and never allow themselves to experience true happiness again- only fleeting moments. Well, I can’t do that. It’s just not me. There have been people in my life that have told me that I would fail, that I wasn’t ‘good enough,’ and that I didn’t have ‘what it takes’ to succeed. My response to those fucktards was, and always will be this, “Watch me.” Secretly, I love looking at those assholes years down the road and thinking, “Look at me now!” *shrugs* Admit it, you’ve done it too 😉
I have to take the bull by the horns, or take that mysterious leap (whichever way you look at it). Because if I don’t open my heart and mind to new people and experiences I’ll never live my life the way I want to. I don’t know about all of you, but I plan on living what’s left of my life to the fullest.
I’m not saying that I’ve been given a shite hand. I regret nothing. What I am saying, however, is that how you choose to deal with the negatives, and the positives, shape you as a person. My advice: Don’t dwell in the negatives, or else that is where you will always dwell. I, for one, do not plan to live my life wallowing in self-pity and doubt. I can’t. I’m a gatherer of experiences, good and bad. I experience, I learn, file the lesson away, and decide whether to stay put or move on if need be.
There is a reason that I wrote this post. Someone recently asked me, “how is it that you cope so well with all that is going on in your life?” Well, the above is my answer. And … I wouldn’t say I was coping well; I’m just coping. I deal with things day by day. I would be lying if I said that I never accepted help along the way. I couldn’t do this on my own! There are a select few people that have the same beliefs that I do, and our relationships are, and always will be, ‘Give and take.’ In other words, you shovel the shit in; then shovel the shit out. You have a problem and you need to vent? Cool. Here’s a soft shoulder and a ready and willing listening ear. However, when I need you, please be willing to do the same for me. In my opinion, that’s how any relationship should be- ‘give and take.’ I have no problem accepting something that benefits both parties …
However, I cannot succumb to the psychic vampire’s out there. You know, the people that like to drag you down into their messes and make it all about them with no ‘tit for tat.’ They suck the life from you, an emotional drain. Quite frankly, I’ve got my own bit of drama to deal with and don’t need to pile their drama on top of mine. God knows that they won’t be willing to listen to what I have to say *rolls eyes*.
To the ‘give and take’ people in my life: Thank you for being you, and for just being there for me. You all know who you are. Please know that I will always be there for you. I’ll always be willing to lend a soft shoulder and a listening ear anytime you need it. Love yo’ faces ❤
To the psychic vampire’s I referenced above: Please, quit being so selfish and manipulative! Quit asking for advice that you’re never going to take. Ultimately, you’re hurting the people that you confide in and making them think hard about whether or not you are truly their friend. Not only that, you’re hurting yourself by burning the bridges that you’ve built over time, and pushing away the people you trust most. We’ve all done this. We’ve all been selfish. I will admit I have done this quite recently- and I’m deeply sorry for that 😦 . My advice to you: Get professional help; someone whose job is to listen to you objectively and give non-biased advice. You might be surprised with how much hearing the observations and advice from a stranger can help you. I know it’s helped me. Don’t let your problems cloud your judgement and ruin an amazing friendship- it’s not worth it.
To taking the path less traveled!!
~J. Marie ❤