4 comments on “From My Blackened Mind: Tell Them What You Want …

  1. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t wish that more women had your thoughts on this very subject. But the reality is men are also very hard to read. We men think that things are simple, especially if we are taught that we are supposedly in control in the bedroom. Nothing could be further from the truth. Quite frankly, I refuse to take total responsibility for what happens in the bedroom, just like I would for any other aspect of a relationship. It’s simply too much work to BE a mind reader, and it’s just as much of a nuisance to try treat your partner as though he or she should be one. Communication is essential, and men could use just as much of it from their partners as women can. The next woman I am with won’t be able to get me to shut up without some effort. 😉

    • I agree with your comment 100%, Angel. Men are very hard to read. Truth is, you can’t just assume that what you are doing in the sack is pleasing to your partner. In my humble opinion, assuming just sets you up for failure. There is a saying that I am sure that many have heard, “It takes two to Tango.” This ‘communication’ I speak of should NOT be one sided. It goes both ways. Assuming your partner is a ‘mind reader’ is for the birds! Communication is ‘key’!

  2. Oh yeah! In answer to your question, I must agree. If you’re with someone with whom you cannot be yourself in ALL aspects, including sexually, that relationship is simply doomed to failure no matter how much you both may love one another. Love does not equate to the whitewashing of obviously incompatible natures. A touch of give and take is one thing, but one must never be subsumed by another’s interests and desires. When you lose yourself, you lose life itself. No other person will EVER be worth that.

    The people who will remain in love are the ones who remember that true love and happiness takes work, communication, and the acceptance of the fact that you need to be with someone who CAN meet your needs and is willing to do so. Selling yourself short in this regard is always a mistake. 😉

    • I couldn’t agree with you more, and really don’t think I could have stated it better myself. No one is worth losing yourself … EVER! Been there, done that. Will never go there again. If that certain someone cannot accept ALL of me, Fuck ’em! It takes a lot of hard work and communication to remain in love and stay happy in a relationship. Whoever said it would be easy was DEAD wrong. As I said above, don’t be afraid to tell ’em what you want, what you need! Also, I think it needs to be said that you need to allow the other person in the relationship to do the same. Give and take. Keep an open mind. Doing this will help you weed through the detritus. Or … it may just foster a happy, healthy relationship for years to come. 🙂 LYF, bestie ❤

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