3 comments on “From My Blackened Mind: Lust vs. Love

  1. I think you pretty much nailed the difference between love and lust as far as I am concerned. Lust is that initial something that physically attracts you to a person. It can be the shape of their legs, the look of confidence in their eyes, the way they carry themselves, a scent. Any of those things can make you want a person. Lust is a craving, an insight into the dimensions of your own personal sexual fantasies, perhaps. You get glimpses of someone’s thighs, you may start to imagine another someone’s pectoral muscles, perhaps you close your eyes, and you feel their warm breath on your neck as they gasp from the pleasure of your hands on their body. That, to me, describes the aroma of lust.

    I would also agree that lust is easier, in most ways, to write about. Lust is part of our human need for “instant gratification.” The id wants what it wants, and if my if id and your id want the same thing, I’m about to have a damned good time, no matter WHO the hell you are. You can imagine pouring your lust over anyone in virtually any situation. Gay, straight, young, old, black, white, whoever. We don’t need to know the two people, For Unbridled Carnal Knowledge requires no identity.

    But love only begins to enter the picture when you get the KNOW the object of your lust. You get to know their likes and dislikes (not just in bed or at the back of a darkened movie theater). You may start to get a sense of their hopes and dreams, what they want of the world or the universe at large. They become your best friends, and you can’t wait to see them, to talk to them, to hear the smile in their words. You can’t wait for contact with that person because they’ve somehow tapped into a part of your happiness that you didn’t even know you wanted until they were with you…

    And perhaps tragically, you might begin to realize that certain situations that you’ve landed yourself in were, in fact, NOT the result of true love. You may think you know a person well enough to be in love with them, but it might turn out that you don’t know them very well at all. Warning bells can go off all over the place when you lust after someone, but when that lust begins to turn into something deeper, you’ve already decided to ignore those heralds of alarm. Lust DOES have to go through a middle ground called “puppy love” in order to get to real love. Real love, in my opinion, cab be bitter sweet, hard driven, and WILL survive the vicissitudes of life because the people involved will NEVER abandon one another no matter what is going on in their own lives. REAL love is close to impossible for some of us to attain, or even to recognize when it taps us the fucking shoulder…

    There’s a song for every situation, as you’ve said.

    This is the song that comes to mind when I think of love right now.

    It can be the thing that makes or breaks you. You can have a scar on your heart for the rest of your life when it comes to love. I believe I do. But I also believe that loving people has made me a better man. Heartbreak can never stop me from loving or being loved. As many times as I have had my enormous heart broken, there is always room for one more go…

    Love you, bestie.

  2. Awesome post, J. Marie! I loved the scene you set for this. As I’ve said before, you’re a very visual writer. I love how you pull people into both setting and character. 🙂

    I think a lot of people easily confuse lust for love. Then again, I think a lot of people confuse infactuation for love. Here’s an interesting article on that one. http://www.diffen.com/difference/Infatuation_vs_Love#Symptoms_of_love_vs_infatuation

    Lust is carnal and raw. It’s a physical reaction that governs the body, like a deep hunger. Love transcends that. It’s more spiritual and is a fusing of two souls, two minds. It happens slowly over a long period of time. Love desires what is best for the other person, even if that does not tie in with what you yourself would want or prefer at the time. I think Corintians really sums the definition of love up best.

    There are also different forms of love. The love a mother has for her child. The love children have for their parents. The love we hold for our friends…the list goes on.

    Thanks for the food for thought. Hope you have a great weekend! ❤

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